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She says if the mom loses the baby unexpectedly, they can still gather the remains for a burial, if they wish, by lining the toilet with cheesecloth. They can dress or bathe the baby, name the baby, gather footprints and handprints, or do other meaningful things. Bailey can escort a woman to an abortion clinic, or offer information for a therapist.īailey says when couples want to memorialize their baby’s life, there are more choices, and parents have more time than they realize.įor example, ice packs can preserve the body a bit longer, so grieving parents can spend additional time with the baby.
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And a lot of people don’t realize what’s happening inside their body,” says Bailey.įor those interested in her services, Bailey will suggest a “care package” that can include coping tools like writing in a journal, using aromatherapy, or learning how to ease cramps. “Knowing that you’re carrying a child that is no longer living is hard. PAIL advocates provide emotional support for women who seek abortion or are going through a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other traumatic event.īailey says part of her job is to empathize as well as educate. Kizzy Bailey, owner of Devoted Doula, is a PAIL advocate, birth doula, patient educator, postpartum doula and lactation educator with Holistic Birth & Beyond. Holistic Birth & Beyond in Manchester offers various doula services that can be tailored to a person’s individual needs. PAIL advocates provide emotional support for women who seek abortion or are going through a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other traumatic event.” Courtesy PhotoĮnd-of-life doulas and pregnancy and infant loss (PAIL) advocates can comfort the dying and support the grieving while adding meaning to the experience of loss. “They don’t like seeing you sleepless, or weeping, or angry, or whatever it is that you’re going through,” Davis says. She says friends would want to “fix” the problem, because it’s difficult to see another friend in pain. “Do you know how to be around somebody whose husband is dying? Like, do you know what to say?” says Davis. Davis used Darby’s services during Rick’s final days, calling her work “human care.”ĭavis learned that end-of-life doulas, who are trained to handle these delicate situations, possess an understanding even close friends might not grasp. One of her friends, Deana Darby, is an end-of-life doula with the company. That’s when fate intervened and Davis learned about Threshold Care. He would be the person, my partner, my buddy, taking care of me,” says Davis. “I was so busy trying to keep things going, and get him to the doctors and get the medicines and cook the meals and call his friends to come and visit him.
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But the one who would normally be there for her in her time of emotional need - Rick - couldn’t. She says naturally, when the end is near, everyone’s attention turns to the dying person. “That was not in the plan,” she says of her husband’s illness.Īfter his diagnosis, Davis struggled with emotions like anger, sadness, and helplessness. Jackie Davis of Temple says a death doula guided her through some of her darkest days.ĭavis contacted New England-based Threshold Care service providers as her husband, Rick, 64, lay dying from glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer. That shot was taken in the last summer of his life in a little cabin we built for him on our property.” Courtesy Photo I think there are 1,000 but honestly, I never counted.
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Says Jackie, “The paper cranes (in the background) were made for Rick by people in the community. Jackie and Rick Davis about two months before Rick’s death.